Imagine

Imagine lots of things.
Most of time i am imagining my man,my mr right ,my lover ,my partner who could spend his life with me.
Well in my mind my man should be caucasian,28 to 45 years old.180cm to 190cm ,good looking with nice smiles. average body to stocky. not childiish,sense of humor ,sweat heart and romatic.
When we are watching tv ,he ask me to lie on his legs or chest.
When we are going out,he could hold my hands and give me a french kiss.
When we are having a dinner ,he could look at me and with smile.
I hope he could bring me to travel all over the world, you know my ambition is eatting all the nice food over the world.
I hope he could bring me to the bar club to join his friends conversation.
I hope he could bring me to the cinema to watch the moives .
I hope he could bring me to the countryside to have a picnic.
I hope we could have some wine at home ,enjoy the every second we been togather.
I hope we could lose each other into each others world when we are having sex,i love to have sex with my partner everyday.
I hope he is looking at me when i am weaking up,show me a nice smile and sweet kiss......
I hope we could be togather for ever,love each other till the end of the world.

Films star

I want to be a films star.To act everything love stories.I want people not scared of be gay and fell in love with someone.As you know,most of people they like men,but they are decent ,hide themselves to deep.Be honest ,to be gay it is not easy as the sexual culture.But it is innocent to be gay.So i wish i could act all the characters,record the romantic happiness and bright stories for gay guys to remember ,always remind them whenever whatever happened ,never give up your faith of love.
LOVE DOES WONDER.!

I just wanna spend my life with you

All the time , i was waitting for a man.A man i just saw once ,but i have fell in love with him.I just want to spend time with him even just one more time.But after i waitted for a long time ,he text to me ,he wouldnt come,I am really disppointed.I changed a lot in order to be much more better and i would like to give him a surprise after he return.But i wont.I tried to call him twice,he didnt answer the phone .And i think i know what is going on.I was angry ,i felt my heart was broken.I hate him,but i still love him.I know i shouldnt ,but i just cannt help myself.
Why.....
Why the person who i love,always go away?
Why
Why the person who i dont love ,always around me?
Honey,I just wanna spend my life with you.But i think it is impossiable now.
I am scared,i dont know who could trust,who will never breaks my heart ,who i can spend my life with...
I lost.....in this world to be a man ,but like man to be my partner and lover.

I just wanna spend my life with you

A moive "Clapham Junction"

If you ask me which moive is your favorite ? I probably would say none.Because i love so many moives.They are all my favorite ,they are all talking about love stroies and the most incredible thing is  they are all about gay stories.In my opinion i think the stories base on the gay scenes are more attractive interesting  affecting and true.
I got worried, suprised,impressed.
First of all , came out was a silver wedding scene,quite nice A gay couple crossed the wedding rings with each other and had a speech.So nice . So now i am fancying a wedding for myself as well ,but i don't know who is gonna be my partner? Here is  a question. Sry a bit far ,that is go back to the moive. But in the wedding when the guests were having a dance with one of the  bridegroom. and another one went to flirt a waiter and said;"You have a nice arse". So i get confused Do they really care about the man who has a relationship with? or they just need to sex with different guys?Even in the wedding? Of course included me i am one of them.So i am worried about them.Even a relationship couldn't make them to contral themselves.That is not good.
Then after ,there was a public toilet ,gay guys got into there,pissing and checking around the guys who are there ,they were knew who is guy with one look.If matched then go in the room having a sex ,then go away, even without say goodbye.It seemed quite easy to find one. Oh now i see  gay guys are everywhere!
The most impressed part of the moive was a boy and a older man they were kissing with tears.I don't know why  , but i got touched.That was the really love from these two guys, even they couldn't be togather,the boy is too young only 14 years old.Gosh it is too young for now.but he wanted and he knew what he wants.....
The stroy is still keep going , i will let you to find out something i haven't mentioned.
It is a great moive i love it.Hope you guys like it too.

Tomorrow

Listen a song called: <Tomorrow>
Singer: Chris Young

Lyrics

[Verse 1]

Tomorrow I'm gonna leave here
I'm gonna let you go and walk away
Like every day I said I would
And tomorrow, I'm gonna listen
To that voice of reason inside my head
Telling me that we're no good


[Chorus]


But tonight I'm gonna give in one last time
Rock you strong in these arms of mine
Forget all the regrets that are bound to follow
We're like fire and gasoline
I'm no good for you
You're no good for me
We only bring each other tears and sorrow
But tonight, I'm gonna love you like there's no


[Verse 2]


Tomorrow
I'll be stronger
I'm not gonna break down and call you up
When my heart cries out for you
And tomorrow, you won't believe it,
But when I pass your house,
I won't stop no matter how bad I want to.


[Chorus]


Baby when we're good, You know we're great
But there's too much bad for us to think
That there's anything worth trying to save


[Chorus]


Tomorrow, I'm gonna leave here.
I'm gonna let you go and walk away like every day I said I would

The coffee shop

One day i walked into a coffee shop for a coffee.It was tranquility ,people were whispering .It was a nice place to stay for a while.Be honest i was a bit nervous,because i don't use to go to coffee shop,there is something in my mind and always remind me :"You don't belong there and you shouldn't go there.You are  different with them.You got different hair colour and face with them ."These are always make a bit stress to me,I know i need to open minded,I am a bit shy.but different culture  language  i have learned and different skin colour i have had .All of there make me difference with them.So i do not get used to stay with people who are much difference with me.I just think they are so beautiful, like angles Even i haven't seen angles  but i think they are should be more close than me.
Anyway i was there and i ordered a black coffee.I like black coffee with some brown sugar,no cream, because after mixed  with cream it is just not a original coffee anymore .In my opinion!
i don't remember since when i did.
The coffee was dense but a bit sour and bitter,i was the first time had this kind of coffee,but after swallowed , i feeled aroma full of my mouth  i felled like just woke up.I like to use my tongue to play with the coffee round and round in my mouth.
Then another day i get another one.A good try!
Calm , have a coffee.enjoy it when whatever drive you crazy!

The stories of songs

People say: there is a story behind each song.It is the soul of the song,without the soul ,it wont be touch listener's hearts.
I do agree with this.After i watched a movie.The writter is a singer as well.His girl friend left him behind.He is so upset  but life have to keep going ,He sings on the street  ,write songs for his gril friend in honour of theirs loves,Finally he decides to go to get back his gril friend .I love this kinds of movies and i always get moved.
I wish i could know how to write song and sing  to remember the memorable people i have seen and the things  i have been went through
I love the stories and the songs .
I said i was trying to sing a English song and i am still working on it.
I know i am quite easy to give up the things i havent finished,but some time i can be determined.

山无棱，天地合.才敢与君绝！

山无棱，天地合.才敢与君绝！
In English is :we will be togather forever unless the moutains are not angular ,the sky and the earth back to togather.
This  is sentence means  two people  doesn't have to be a male and a famale,I wish they are me and my Mr right Haha...They love each other so much,nothing can stop them.they are going to be with each other forever.whatever hard tough things comes over .they never give up each other.untill they die.
Such a beautiful love story.
I wish i could .....

Singing

I love singing,when i was a child ,i think i am quite good at it, after many years i didnt do practices,not so good as before but still not bad,Ok yes  i know  coz after grew up the voice  had changed, not like angles any more ,Singing is one of my hobbies,i would love to record the songs and share with people.I would like them to hear my singing.These days i am fancying to record a english song named "The last unicorn".It is a classic song ,i love it so much  and i would like to sing it to see how is going from myself.But unfortunately i couldn't find the instrumental of this song.I have tried Google Yahoo music.but nothing for using by recording. Any way maybe it is just out there on somewhere.I need to try a bit more .After done i would like to make it like a vedio and upload to Youtube ,it could be more fun.Can't wait . will let you guys know   Hahaha.....

Mistakes

Sometimes i make mistakes when i am having fun with guys.I always try to please everyone as i want to leave a great memery .some time i try to act a bad boy then we are doing the action.In the film the bad boys always turn the guys on.but someone may think i took some drugs as i seems hyper.Of course i will say not course i didn't do it .And i am seriouse.I DONT TAKE DRUGS .I know what is drug and i know if you take it then it will destroy you,
People use to say  just to be yourself ,but i think if i am myself it is gonna be hard to find guys to have fun. I was told i am a normal guy from the first sight, but i looks better after times and times.So it is impossible that the people fall in love with me from the first sight.Then i am thinking  how many times the people will love me after they met me?
That is why i try to act the different characters to please people,unfortunately some time it doesnt work, ,after that i lost myself ,but the true soul comes out.That is why i like classic music ,i feel it purifies my soul,makes me cool.
I know myself  i have a big heart , i want to make people happy  i never want to hurt anyone.

Not perfect

I am not perfect.From appearance  i think the blue deep eyes are perfect and charming .i like the dark green hair,i hope i am 190cm tall. I wish i am strong  well built.I hope i am pink ,Oh that is angle.Yes it is ,angles are always perfect ,they are with the god as the holy bible. So i like them ,that is saintly.
I think most people are not satisfied of themself othwise the cosmetology arent so popular.
I donnt have perfect personality .I am not patient enough,i could be angry and sometimes i am jealous .i havent been nice to all the people.as god said then the people slap you in the face ,you should turn around and let him do it on another side.I wish i could  but i real cannt.
But i am trying to be nice, becouse sometime i find the life is short and i should bring happiness to the people i have seen.Try not easy to be  pissed off.
Keep smiles to welcome everyday

say it

Look back my last 26 years life.it was so fast.Every day seems the same .First  eatting,  studying,playing and then grew up.After educated go to work.everyting is just normal  nothing special happened to me.And i feel  if  i want something  then i have to work hard on it, because it never easy comes to me ,ever. So i learnt how things going. ,but sometimes if i tried to  hard   it will goes to  the oppsite way,so i have to drop it.To find something instead.
So when people say donnt take life too seriousely, i would say  i donnt want  ,but if i donnt  the life gonna push me to the hell.
God teach me if u want to get into the heaven  ,you have to knock on the door,otherwise  no one could hear you are ouside,we are having fun.
So i say  if i like someone  i wouldnt hide ,i will straight tell you  i like you, i love you .
let you know  how i feel to you.
I have been  through many times  when men flirting me  then i just give them a smile  ,after they gone.
I love you Just say it.

A stable relationship

I watched a tv show called <L Word>. It is about the lesbians normal life.Actually i am not quite interested at this show as i am a gay.You all know gay men donnt like women.Me neither.But before i watched the famouse American tv show called <queer as folks>  i moved,so i am more interested at this  kind of movies. Talk about the gays.
In <L word> there is a lasbian couple for many years,i guess more then ten ,must be, shame i missed the coversations, But i did hear  this couple want to have a baby. wow,another lesbian couple want to make a baby,the last one was in the <queer as folks>,they made two.btw they have ten years relationship and keep counting.
So from these two tv show  i was confused and think about the gay men. I think we are unstable, Becourse not many couples could held their long term relationship for 10 years, never think about kidds.We are just more focus on sex, just need body contact, easy attracted by many different kinds of men .what we want just Sex Sex Sex......then keep going  ,one after another.
So i guess  i am quite different.becourse i want find a man to settle down, even now i am just 27 years, but i am tied been alone,i would like to sleep with someone who always smile on me ,cuddle  me and when i weak up every morning  i see his lovely face with happy smiles. If i had this kind of man i would love him for a long time ,i wouldnt give a promise for ever if i havent got the man,
A new day ,same life keep seeking men form all around,who gonna be my mr right?I will be waitting.....
I know i am not the person who so open theirs minded,I just shy,
You hold my hands i will follow you,You love me i will love you back.

The first post

This is the first i am writtiing something on here and i think i will keep going,when i am bored,happy,exciting,depression.
Oh and by the way i think i should introduce myself for the further visitors.
I am Deng, i am from oriental which have more than two thousand years old history .
I have dark hair ,brown eyes, 5ft10inch highth and i am quite slim so far .and i am 27 years old .
But the most important thing is i am a gay, even i donnt like this word but i have to use it to let you guys know who i like.
i think the bright colour is the most beautiful in the world.so i like the white men.but it doesnt means i donnt respect the other guys ,that is just my nature.That is really turn me on.
I think most people think the sex is all for the gay guys. I do agree we are always attracted by many different guys and have sex with them. I do as well who doesnt. but i am praying for more than just sex ,i am looking for a man who i love and who loves me. who wants to spend the rest of life to be with me . i also know no one is perfect ,when we are living togather we will angry with each other sometimes, but that is the life in the two men’s world.we have to let it come and get through it.To prove we love each other whenever wherever whatever ……..
Thanks for coming guys if u like leave a line ,i will follow